


Forgiveness has to be earned

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Caretaker Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Forgiveness, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Miscommunication, Post-Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Protective Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:55:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23378713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Instead of allowing Cas to  leave in the rupture Dean realises his words have went too far and stops him. The two embark on a  emotional journey to fix their relationship.In this story Dean is not going to forgive Cas straight away. Dean is going to be allowed to grieve for his mother and hold Cas responsible for his part in her death without been cruel.Aims to be sympathetic to both of the characters  as the writers in my opinion handled this so badly .My grammar and writing style is poor I know
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter one

"Why is that something always you", Dean regretted the words as soon as they out of his mouth. When Cas went to leave after rant about moving on and Dean not caring about him. Dean pulled himself together enough to take charge of the situation and stop the idiot. 

"Cas" he said sharply, "stop, sit the fuck down". Cas thankfully listened, sitting down with a kicked puppy expression. The hurt in his expression stirred both sympathy, guilt and anger in Dean.

He knew he owed his friend an apology he had gone too far and said extremely hurtful things. He knew it wasn't Cas's fault about Mary, however, his friend had played his part and it had led to her death. He had forgiven Cas too much in the past this time he couldn't, not straight away, this time Cas was going to have to own his own actions and actually make amends. Dean wasn't ready forgive straight away However he did still care about the idiot and he knew that they needed to stick together and work together. Letting Cas leave wasn't the answer worrying about him would be distraction Dean couldn't afford.

He sat down and letting out a sigh he spoke, "Look I'm sorry okay. That was uncalled for, I shouldn't of said that". Cas nodded, staring at his hands. Dean went on, "I know you didn't kill Mum, I know it wasn't your fault, but you hid what was going on from me yet again. If you'd spoken up, this might not of happening". Cas voice was small, "I said I was sorry". Dean pressed fingers to temple trying to keep his anger and frustration at bay. 

He fixed Cas with hard look speaking slowly and spelling out each syllable, "My Mum is dead Cas, sorry doesn't really cut it this time. You can't expect me to just move on from this. You played your part in it". Cas eyes were full of tears, "Dean, I know, but I can't fix this I don't know how to. That's why it's best I leave".

Dean shook head "no it's not, we can't split up right now. There's a bigger picture here Cas than what's going on between us. We're up against Chuck we need to focus on that. 

Cas sighed, nodding head, "ok" he said miserably and resigned. He stood to leave the room his movements sluggish and rejected. Dean spoke up before he left, "Cas". When Cas turned Dean made eye contact, "I can't forgive straight away, not this time, forgiveness is earned", Cas looked surprised but nodded, "I'll try" he said.

Dean sighed when Cas left the room. He had apologised and stopped Cas leaving. He might of not forgiven his friend, but Dean was done with giving the people he loved and saw as family free passes. He was hurting over losing his mother and for once he was going to hold the people involved responsible. Dean stood, setting the whisky aside planning to go to bed. Drinking himself into stupor wasn't an option right now. He needed a clear head to try and come up with a plan to stop Chuck. He had to protect the family he had left. As he headed to his room, he could hear soft sobbing coming from Cas's room. He hesitated honestly debating just going to bed, unsure if he could deal with any more emotional stuff tonight, but as sobs got louder he pushed the door open. 

Cas, had gone to the room he had been given in the bunker. Curling up on the bed the angel sobbed. Grieving over Jack and his frayed relationship with his best friend coupled with his fading grace and the realization that his father haven't given a shit and wanted to end the world, he let his emotions pour out. He had been surprised when Dean hadn't just let him leave without a word of protest. His friend was rightfully angry and yet he had still apologised and stopped him from leaving. Dean had even said he would have to earn his forgiveness, which meant he might have a chance to repair their friendship. The thought gave him some comfort. He startled as the door opened looking up as Dean, who was standing in the doorway through blurry tear stained eyes. 

Dean sighed at the pitiful sight of the angel sobbing on bed. As his friends sad, tired eyes met his.  
, he felt a tug on his heartstrings. He might be unable to forgive right not, but he wasn't heartless he knew how much Cas was hurting. As he took in his friend's features he could see the dark circles under eyes. He walked over to the bed and gently tagged his friend up to his feet. He fixed the bed and tapped his friend on the shoulder to get his attention. "C'mon, get the coat and your pants off" he said. Cas looked puzzled, but undressed down to boxers and white top. Dean pulled back the blankets on the bed and Cas getting the hint climbed in. Dean soothed blanket down, hesitating before he reached out gave Cas a light squeeze on the arm. "Get some sleep Cas" he said before retreating to the door. 

He felt guilty for being unable to offer any more comfort. He just couldn't bring himself to offer a hug to his friend. Whilst he still cared and Cas's tears did affect him, he was a long time off being able to forgive so he was setting some boundaries. Ensuring Cas got some sleep and was looked after with his fading powers was the best he could offer at the moment. Even when angry the caretaker in Dean was first and foremost. He hesitated at the door "Cas I'm sorry about Jack" he said. The kid's name had his heart clench and it was a conversation he didn't want to explore with any depth so after the words he left closing the door quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas leaves to take a trip to heaven. Sam and Dean get a very surprising visitor

Dean woke early feeling surprisingly refreshed. For the first time in solid week he wasn't nursing a hangover. He slipped out of bed and went to the kitchen. Sam and Cas were seated at the table drinking coffee. "Morning" grunted Dean heading to the coffee pot and pouring himself a cup. 

"Morning, " said Sam his brother's voice rough with sleep and not looking up from the book he engrossed in. Cas didn't reply, shifting in discomfort at Dean's entrance. Dean stole a subtle glance at his friend who was also reading through a book. Cas didn't look much better than last night still pale and tired looking. 

Sipping coffee, Dean was just beginning to wake up when Cas stood. "I'm going to go to heaven, see if I can dig up any information about Chuck", he said. "We have nothing to go by, its our only option". Dean nodded, "be careful", he said simply. Cas nodded and left.

Dean let out a sigh and dropped his head to his hands for a moment. Worry was already clenched in his stomach about Cas going to heaven. Sometimes he just wished he didn't care so much.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. He instantly reached for weapon who on earth would be calling to bunker. Sam appeared by his elbow the two brothers exchanging weary looks as they approached the door.

"Hello boys" called a familiar voice. Dean and Sam looked at each other a look of hope coming over his little brothers face. Before Dean could stop him Sam flung the door open. They both froze with shock at the red headed witch standing outside the door. "Hello boys" repeated Rowena".


End file.
